How to Love Series :: 10 of 17
What Would Love Do Right Now in Your Self-Expression?
When you are self-expressed, you live life from the essence of who you are without much attention on yourself. You are so present in the moment, being who you are, that your inner critic is silenced, the constant flood of thoughts, ideas, and opinions in your mind slows down, and you’re fully alive just doing your thing—whether that be dancing, playing guitar, making love, hiking in nature, expressing your truth with another, meditating in communion with your divine self, or simply being grateful for your life.
Accessing Your Self-Expression Through Creativity
As you move into having a more balanced life, be sure you’re honoring all the areas of life that are important to you—work, family, hobbies, friends, education, relationship, and remember to include creativity. Give yourself permission to take an art class, learn gourmet cooking, make some furniture, write a travel blog, re-build a classic car, design a new landscape—whatever stirs your creativity. It is essential to embrace the very things that spark your passion to support you in living a more meaningful, satisfying, fun, and fully self-expressed life.
I found a way to access my own creativity when I realized my life was totally out of balance. Although I was highly successful and living the dream, I felt disconnected, overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted.
Several years ago, I felt like my entire life was doing- doing-doing, work-work-work, focus-focus-focus—always having to be in charge, on task, totally responsible, no breaks, no opportunity to have some fun and express any other part of myself.
One day it occurred to me that in my twenties I loved dancing at the great clubs in Chicago, and perhaps learning to ballroom dance now could provide the opportunity to permit someone else to be in charge—my partner would do the leading and I would be able to relax and follow. When I started taking lessons, I tapped into my innate ability to create balance, go with the flow, unwind, and allow fun in my life again. I opened myself to something new and discovered the freedom to be my true self. Within six months, I was making new friends, meeting the love of my life, traveling, participating in local dance competitions—winning in every category. I was also more passionate about my connection with my clients and excited about expanding my business. Although I no longer compete, I still enjoy expressing my creativity through country and ballroom dancing.
Accessing Your Self-Expression Through Communication
Anything can be resolved in communication. Withholding communication or not speaking your truth may show up in your body, affect your clarity of mind, shape your emotional well-being, and impact your spiritual connection. Taking responsibility and letting other people know what is really going on with you can resolve conflict, deepen intimacy and closeness, and free you to be truly connected with others.
Honoring yourself, speaking your truth, and expressing your natural way of being includes asking powerfully for what you need, voicing your wants, desires, and longings, letting others know what you will and will not do, and honestly answering yes or no when others ask you to do something.
One very powerful communication principle is to take responsibility— in the moment—for how you perceive challenging situations. It’s not always easy when you’re emotionally activated to take ownership for your attitude, words, and actions—however, doing so can deepen your relationship with others.
An effective method I have used to express responsibility in my communication is what I call a do-over.
One day Bernie walked through the door right after I had a frustrating conversation with the phone company. I was very angry and snapped at him as he came in the door. I immediately knew that was not how I wanted to greet him, and he didn’t deserve that. So, I paused and took a deep breath and said, “I am so sorry for blasting you when you came in. I am really glad you are here. Can we have a do over? If you could please go back outside and return in about two minutes, I will greet you from the love I have for you in my heart.” He answered, “Sure.” He left, came back in and said, “Hi, honey, how are you doing?” I replied, “Hi, honey, it’s great to see you. Actually, I just got off the phone with the phone company and I am very angry right now. I need a few more minutes to cool off so I can get back to normal and really be with you.” He responded, “Okay, no problem; if you want my input about the phone company, I’d be glad to help you.” I said, “Thanks.” I took five minutes and when I came out, I was able to listen to his perspective, it turned out to be one I could embrace and apply. The rest of my time with Bernie that evening was delicious and delightful. The icing on the cake was getting a different response the following day when I called the phone company back. Coming from my heart instead of my head made a noticeable difference.
Accessing Your Self-Expression Through Spirituality
How does spiritual self-expression relate to love?
I believe awakening your spirituality begins with self-love—accepting yourself exactly as you are—having compassion for your weaknesses and celebrating your gifts—expressing the natural love of self with which you were born.
One of the highest spiritual expressions you can offer is loving others the way they are and the way they are not, and allowing yourself to be loved in return—this is unconditional love.
Feeling whole and complete within yourself, you can then love others from the overflow. You can expand your capacity to love by keeping your heart open no matter what—honoring yourself—expressing your needs and desires—and tapping into your uniqueness. Doing this will naturally spill over to those you love and can be an inspiration to those who love you. You can then encourage each other to be authentic and bring your unique self- expression to all your relationships and all areas of life.
One of the ways I connect to my inner divinity is to ride my bicycle through the park and sing, I Love Myself the Way I Am, written by Jai Josephs.
I love myself the way I am, there’s nothing I need to change.
I’ll always be the perfect me, there’s nothing to rearrange.
I’m beautiful and capable, of being the best me I can.
And I love myself, just the way I am.
I love you the way you are, there’s nothing you need to do.
When I feel the love inside, it’s easy to love you.
Behind your fears, your rage and tears, I see your shining star.
And I love you, just the way you are.
I love the world the way it is, ’cause I can clearly see.
That all the things I judge are done, by people just like me.
So ’til the birth of peace on earth, that only love can bring.
I’ll help it grow, by loving everything.
I love myself the way I am, and I still want to grow.
But change outside can only come, when deep inside I know.
I’m beautiful and capable, of being the best me I can.
And I love myself, just the way I am.
Accessing your self-expression—through exploring specific events in your life and the impact they had on your creativity, communication, and spirituality—can bring you more joy, peace of mind, happiness, fulfillment, and love.
Love and Be Loved
Restoring love in all areas of my life make a real difference. You can read the guide to living an extraordinary life in my Amazon #1 Bestselling book—What Would Love Do Right Now?
Consider there are only two predominant things going on in your life. You either have something you don’t want (shame, blame, guilt, anger, envy, frustration, resentment, or regret). Or, you want something you don’t have.
Support is Available
With over 30 years of providing Mind/Body Repatterning breakthrough results, feel free to schedule a session with me at ExtraordinaryOutcomes.com. Sessions available in person or by phone.
What can I expect from my session? We will identify and release negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and detrimental patterns that prevent you from living an extraordinary life. After your session is complete, the ability to have more love, adventure, creativity, passion, and joy is possible.
Lovingly Submitted,
Victoria Benoit, M.C.
602-864-7662
Mind/Body Repatterning Practitioner, Speaker, Bestselling Author
Success Stories abound!
